How to be me
  1. Drink too much coffee 
  2. Write a story
  3. Upload the story to ff.net
  4. Do not proofread the story because you are horrified about what you will find there and how your sense of self-worth will plummet with every spliced comma and mispelled word.
  5. Publish the story.
  6. Dissolve into a puddle of anxiety and self-consciousness because you know that it is horrible and no one will love you and you will literally die alone because this 4,000 word story sucks.
  7. Scroll to the bottom your own story.
  8. Realize that you left off the last end quote.
  10. Still don’t edit the story.

Marauders Appreciation Week [3/7] - One Marauders AU

Harry and Ginny, sensing a disturbance in the force, rethink the naming of their second child.

This ain’t makeup, sweetheart— it’s warpaint. Iliza Shlesinger
Some Thoughts on Books, or, Why You Should Not Tag Nicole In "Name Ten Things" Memes


So Kelsey asked me to name some books that influenced me, which is a near impossible task and brings to forefront the question of who I am as an adult versus who I was as a child—both people intimately shaped by books, but very different kinds. Is it the books as I read as a kid, the ones I…

"If you read Catch-22 like four times and wish Kurt Vonnegut was more playful, then maybe you should start thinking about reading Gravity’s Rainbow." This made me smile like a crazy person, and also is very accurate, but please do not think less of my brain when I say that I still prefer "The Crying of Lot 49" because I think that a book is stupendous when it can be read one paragraph at a time or all at once in one sitting without seeming any less beautiful, but still very different and maybe it’s because I’m such a slow reader or because I love The Paranoids or because when we no longer hold onto fantasy’s little tentacles, we cease to be, or because Dr. Hilarious is so vile and so pathetic and so overwhelmingly human. I’m not sure which book has changed me more of these two, but I’ve read The Crying more times, so I would probably go with that one.

All of the books you innumerate in your first paragraph are books I ate like an insidious, paper-eating mold (which is what I am on the inside). You made me remember the ache I felt when Ramo died or the baffling forgiveness of Karana when she decided to love the dog instead or Princess Irene and the promise of a kiss or so many other little moments that are so much a part of me that I forget that they are there. 

And The Night Watch taught me that it was ok to think that reading fantasy didn’t make me dumb or silly or less than (because my mother is a doctor and my father is an engineer and reading is amazing and valued, but it should also be practical and, if you must indulge in escapism,  then for god’s sake do it in scifi because there is imaginary science in that and no one pretends to believe in magic), and then Making Money taught me enough about economics that I was able to focus in my God Damned Horrible AP Macroeconomics class, and Lord Vetinari was like a Dumbledore who didn’t die (although I didn’t know Dumbledore died when I first met Vetinari) and an Atticus Finch who didn’t just spout useless shit all at once. And House of Leaves is WAY better/scarier/bigger than “The Shining,” although Henry says that the book was creepier than the movie (I don’t know if I believe him because I’ve never read anything by Stephen King, even though I don’t think I have anything against him as a person or a writer but I haven’t paid him enough attention to know). And Howl’s Moving Castle was just so much who I thought I was at sixteen but I still can’t bring myself to feel silly about it. 

I don’t know if I can in good faith recommend that people read it—I think it is a thing that people seek out when they feel compelled to, and it expresses some deep need inside of them that they have never before been able to put to words.” And also the desire to be angry for a very, very long time about reading it at all. I still get angry when I think about it. It is one of my “Books that Never Happened,” which I will someday make a real list of and I promise to show it to you when I do, AN (how I am now abbreviating your name on Tumblr, but maybe that’s only because I haven’t slept since the day before last), because you are probably the only person I know who would understand how some books can just make you mad in a way that reality can’t just by being what they are.

I don’t think you wanted me to respond with this much information (or with a list of my own. I’m not sure if I’ve been tagged to continue the meme or just for discussion and I’m not sure what etiquette is for responding to these things, anyways), but I wanted to let you know that I did appreciate it and I am glad you tagged me in the thing on facebook, but I had already read it on Tumblr, silly, because there are so many more words here than on facebook and it’s so much nicer to respond here because I can use more words that fewer people will see. 


Brenna Twohy - “Fantastic Breasts and Where To Find Them” (NPS 2014)

"I will not practice bloody hands"


Kyla La Grange - Vampire Smile

I’m here trying not to bite your neck,
But it’s beautiful and I’m gonna get
So drunk on you and kill your friends.


Hannibal meme - eight quotes (in no particular order): Hannibal Lecter in Amuse-Bouche


ok but hear me out- what about a lightning bolt scar that looked like real lightning?

That’s how I always imagined it, actually. I figured the artistic representations (IE, cover and chapter art), were just gross simplifications. I was rather self-assured as a child. 


ok but hear me out- what about a lightning bolt scar that looked like real lightning?

That’s how I always imagined it, actually. I figured the artistic representations (IE, cover and chapter art), were just gross simplifications. I was rather self-assured as a child. 

Avada Kedavra

In my headcanon, Avada Kedavra was invented as a way of culling a wizarding population in times of famine, disease, or war. I mean, think about it: why would someone make a killing curse like this one if they were trying to do away with someone out of revenge or malice? I wouldn’t.  It seems too nice. I would invent something painful and slow-acting (but still irreversible, of course). Who, then, would invent a killing curse that is swift, painless, and immediate that has the added benefit of not actually damaging a body? Someone who had to kill a loved one, not because they wanted to, but because they had to; because there was nothing left to eat in town and they were starving; or at the earliest signs of a fatal and painful illness; or when an enemy had already set the house on fire and there was no way out for the children. Avada Kedavra is a kind death. They didn’t suffer. They just look like they’re sleeping. 

TW: Domestic Violence 

I always drive with the doors of my car locked because I was ripped out of my car by my father when I was seventeen while trying to escape the house with my younger brother. My father came running out of the house after us, opened the car door and pulled me out through my seat-belt and dragged me back into the house and pinned me against the wall by my neck.I think that my brother must have parked the car because it was still moving when he dragged me across the driveway and I know this because I was coughing and pointing at it because he had my neck. I am not sure about that because I don’t remember what happened next. I was wearing sneakers and jeans and a black t-shirt and a watch and I was fairly certain that he was going to kill me. I think he was drunk? He has never apologized and he never will because I am too much of a chickenshit to remind him of this. This was not an isolated incident. Please don’t think I’m making this up.

Conversely, my father is a kind, loyal man who I know does the best that he can. He drove down to New Orleans to pick me up from school and drove all the way back to PA the summer that I got mono and they wouldn’t let me on a plane. He would die for me and I love him very, very much. I have a hard time reconciling the two personalities I see in him.

I bring this up, not because I want you to think my father is a monster. He isn’t. We have a really close, albeit fucked up, relationship. I bring this up because people keep talking about sexism and gender-based violence Out There like it’s something that doesn’t actually invade our homes and like aggressors aren’t actually real people who do shit besides the awful shit we get so angry about. Every time I see someone talk about how you are supposed to remove “aggressors” from your life, I just want to cry and/or punch them in the face because it would break my heart to lose my dad, but I know what happened to me for the eight years that my mother was sick and i lived at home was wrong, so stop making things seem so black and fucking white and for fuck’s sake put a fucking trigger warning on your fucking rants because you fucking hurt people with your words. 

AND ANOTHER THING! It’s not just boyfriends who do this shit. It’s husbands and dads and coworkers and best friends not everything is about romantic relationships.


Listen/purchase: Labors by Henry Bett

"And I’m just a traitor/a lesson you’ve learned"

This song reminds me only of “This Is How You Lose Her” by Attica, which is tragic and beautiful and everyone should read it and love it. If you haven’t, click the title and be amazed.

Before I am your daughter,
your sister,
your aunt, niece, or cousin,
I am my own person,
and I will not set fire to myself
to keep you warm.
1/? Things To Remember (via mashamorevna)
We are not people who touch each other carelessly; every point of contact between us feels important, a rush of energy and relief.

Allegiant - Veronica Roth

(aka the last book in the divergent trilogy that never actually happened)

of the nature of or resembling glass, as in transparency, brittleness, hardness, glossiness, etc.: vitreous china.
of or pertaining to glass.
obtained from or containing glass.
a vain twenty-four-year-old little girl who likes the sound of her own voice so much that she keeps a useless blog and says bland things to the internet, who is generally not interested enough to say anything back.
I would love it if you spoke to me.Archive